to stay or not to stay.

So as many of you know Jeff and I change our plans just about as often as possible.

Proof: we have a house in AZ and are living with his parents in UT.

Since moving here we have both really liked it and have seriously been talking about staying here permanently, if possible. But at the same time the idea of just going back to our house in AZ is really enticing. It would definitely make things a lot simpler. Leaving his family would be really hard for Jeff. I am a little different than him with that, I tend to do okay as long as I can talk on the phone with family as often as I feel the need. Especially if I know that it will be possible to fly to visit whenever we feel the need. It will be sad for him to leave. I am more nervous about having a tiny, literally newborn, baby to take care of without family around to bale me out if necessary! I just realized this morning that if we do decide to move back and he is able to get a job down there, the schools start the first or second week of august in AZ so we will be moving with a 2 week old. (And that's assuming he is born sometime close to his due date!) Or maybe he will be a pal and decide he wants out 2 weeks early instead!

When we first moved to AZ, I was working 50 or more hours per week, plus commuting. (Hard to believe now, considering my general state of sitting-around-doing-nothing-ness.) Jeff was working his 40 hours at a job he absolutely hated while stressing out about grad school costing all sorts of money that wouldn't be made back in the career path it would put him on. And even with all of that we still liked AZ. But because I only had 10 vacation days all year (holidays aren't an option) and we were gonna be po' the possibility of visiting our families regularly was basically zero and big events (aka family reunions) were out of the question. So AZ felt a lot farther away than it really was.

With Jeff teaching and me being a stay-at-home-mom (still can hardly believe it), we will have a ton more freedom to go places and visit family and friends than the last time around. Plus we already have a house that we love. I still can't believe that we basically just got up and left that house exactly as it was when we were living in it. Seriously, all we moved out was our bed and bedroom set. Oh, and I cleaned our stuff out of the master bath too. What the?! Who does that?! So actually, when I say move all we will really be moving is our clothes, bed, a couple bikes, and whatever gadgets we acquire for the new baby (and the baby, of course).

Housing prices in Southern Utah are basically ridiculous. Of course that is how it works: We buy a house in AZ and the market immediately drops through the floor and then we start looking in UT and it manages to be the one county in the entire nation not to know there is housing collapse supposed to be taking place! Nothing like stating the obvious: we will have to spend a whole lot more money to get a whole lot less house here while stressing out about keeping the house in AZ rented.

So, to be honest, I vote that we move back to AZ. Maybe not forever, but at least until the housing market picks up again. And no one knows how long that could take. I am standing neutral when I talk to Jeff though because emotionally it will be a lot more difficult for him to leave and so he gets to reach a decision one way or the other for himself. And who knows, maybe we won't even be able to find him a job in AZ and this small novel was all for naught.

last day of work celebration.

Today was my last day of work. I am officially unemployed. So I celebrated:

disturbing.

I am starting to feel old. I remember adults when I was growing up making references to their generation compared to my generation (x or y or something like that, I think). At the time I didn't understand. But everyday that passes I am starting to understand it a little better.

Or maybe it's just that I work at a store where only the spoiled kids get to shop on a regular basis.

Regardless, last night after we were closed, the porch was shut down, the music was off, and the overnight crew was already getting to work fixing the clothes, there still was one family tearing through the clearance shelves. There were probably 4-6 kids with the mom, I am unsure of how many kids because they were never all in the same spot at the same time so it was difficult to get an accurate count. Anyway, as each minute goes by the kids start getting louder-- raising their voice at their mom. The crazy thing was, it didn't even phase her. This was all happening while the store was relatively empty, and quiet-- so everything they said reverberated off of the wood and tile floors and traveled throughout the whole store. For me, it feels like I am yelling in a library when the store is quiet and I talk. Again, didn't phase them. So the Mom, while still shopping, ignoring the 3 angry teenagers standing behind the cashwrap, waiting for them to leave so that they, too, can leave, asks where her pretzels sticks are. So this little girl-- I'm guessing anywhere between 6-9 years old that is less than 4 feet tall, and has red hair pulled back in a messy bun, shoves the package at her. (is redder a word?). To keep myself from saying something rude to the girl and/or the mom, I then retreat back behind the cashwrap to join the line of sour faced teenagers leaning against the counter. Finally, the familys head for the door, in a single file line. Who knows what happened to the 10 orange shirts she had pulled from the shelves? As they pass us the little red head snaps (loudly) at her mom, "I only ate THREE, your FATASS ate the rest."

And the whole family just kept on walking out the door- the mom didn't even flinch.

All 4 of our jaws dropped simultaneously as we watched them file out the door. I am hoping and praying that what I witnessed was a parenting thing, not a generation gap thing. However, I am proud of the kids at work because everyone of them was shocked and appalled. That did give me hope because most days I worry about the inability to work and from what I can tell, function, in the "outside world." It brought warmth to my heart to hear them all start going-off about how they would never talk to their parents like that, and if that was their kid they would wash their mouth out with soap, and their outrage continued even as I walked them to the front of the store and they left for the night.

I don't have kids-- and I know that I don't know a thing about raising them. But if they ever do go crazy for 2 seconds and swear at me-- they probably will never, ever, do it again.

remind me to knock on wood next time.

So, a few days ago I posted about actually having a good day at work. No annoying customers, etc. bad idea. I think today was the day that all those customers decided to shop and the kids "working" today "worked" less than usual. So here goes:

Whenever a customer has a return, the kid ringing them up has to have a manager swipe our card or enter our id # and password before they are able to do the return/exchange. Today this teenage girl and her mom or grandma or aunt or something along those lines brought back a zip up sweatshirt. The tags were no longer on it, it had been washed, and they were returning it because the fleece left lint on "her friends" shirt when she took it off. What the?! The awesome part was that I only had 1 kid for registers and there somehow was a line of 5 people when the rest of the store was practically empty. So they were all staring, doing that shifting of the weight while heavily sighing and looking around for a clock thing. Here's the kicker: I soon realize that the Grandma/mom/aunt does not speak a word of English. She doesn't understand it either. So then I get to repeat myself all over again to the teenage girl so that she can translate it. After she does, the woman starts getting all crazy upset pointing to the sweater and talking all fast and for about 2 seconds I was grateful that she was unable to direct the wrath directly at me, until I saw the look on the poor girl's face because it was being directed at her even though she was just translating. I tried to show them the back of the receipt that has the return policy printed on it but still- they wouldn't leave. The same line of discussion was replayed 10 times. And for once I am not exaggerating for comedic effect. I keep telling her that I can't take it back. She then tells the older woman, who then gestures and talks fast and narrows her brow, the girl then asks me if they can exchange it. I tried handing it back to them. They won't take it. It's really awkward when a customer hands me something to return, I realize I can't take it back, and then I try to hand it back to them and they won't take it. It's like playing a game of 1-2-3 "not it!" with adults and in this case, washed merchandise.

Note to self: If I ever really really want to return something I should just put it on the counter at the cashwrap, tell the associate working that I want to return it, and then refuse to pick it back up again.

Just in case you're wondering, there is still the line of customers waiting.

So I finally log in with my ID on a different computer and have my register kid use it (she is so relieved to be dismissed from the awkwardness that she uses the tagline: "Do you need any more Jake (cologne) or Malaia (perfume) today?"with even more enthusiasm than usual), while I continue to deal with the sweatshirt. I honestly could not tell what was wrong with the sweatshirt, and they had the reciept and tag, it just wasn't attached. So I am a sucker and finally agreed to let them exchange it.

Once again, I am an idiot in the wide wide world of retail management. They walk away from the cashwrap, triumphant, and I barely have time to roll my eyes, heave a big sigh, and answer the ringing phone before I turn around and THEY'RE BACK, BEHIND THE CASHWRAP. And talking at me. And having zero regard for personal space. I can't hear what she is saying or what the person on the phone is saying because it is all being outdone by the last 30 seconds of "California" by Red Hot Chili Peppers blasting over the sound system. Finally, I figure out that they're wanting a personal tour of the store so that I can be their personal shopper on their quest to find a fleece sweatshirt that doesn't have lint and/or ball up. Or at least I think that is what they thought was wrong with the one I am not supposed to be returning for them, but am. So I walk over to the girl's side of the store, flail my arms wildly in every direction because there just happen to be about 5 different sweatshirts in the room in every direction and surely they'll be able to find one that pleases them enough to then get the hell out of the store.

For the best results in understanding my day at work: reread experience. Rinse. Repeat.

clean break

I finally got a call back from A&F/Hollister, Co. Human Resources. When I told my District Manager over a month ago about how Jeff had to move suddenly and that I would be following him in a month or so she seemed okay with it. Obviously wasn't thrilled because they have a hard time finding managers, but she didn't freak out. Then, a couple weeks later, she tells me that I have to stay an extra two weeks and find someone to replace me. What the?! For someone reason I thought that as a District Manager that was her job. So I told her that the 27th was going to be my official last day- but that I might be able to stay a couple of days longer, if I could day personal days at some point. Well, the personal days turned out to be not possible, and then the guys who are going to move in need to move in soon, so I approached her about it. She said that our new District Manager, Scott, is who I need to talk to about it- he just became our District Manager yesterday. But she then repeated that in order to leave in good standing I have to find someone to replace me. HA! So I called HR. Really I called to find out how many personal days I have, but then I figured that while I had them on the phone I should ask about policy regarding resignation notice and good standing. Got a call back today-- found out that she's saying that I said I would stay an extra 8 weeks. Ummm . . . that would mean that I was working for the company after giving resignation notice almost as long as I was working before notice. That makes a lot of sense. Doesn't matter regardless, because as it turns out, I don't have to find someone to replace me! I wasn't going to kill myself trying to, but at least it's nice to know that if I have to list it at a reference I can, although I don't think that the DM in question would give me glowing reviews now! If I ever start to consider retail management again I hope someone in my life talks me out of it.

Fantastic day at work—and for once, I mean it.

First of all- Lori, one of my best friends, had her baby last night!! I am so excited for her I can hardly stand it. Her and Tyson have been through all the fertility drama and were finally able to get her pregnant and now they have a healthy little boy! I know she is going to be an awesome mom and I love it when couples who have been wanting a baby so bad for so long finally have that dream come true because it reminds me that it really does happen. She has been a great support system to me as I have struggled the past couple of years and her advice means a lot because I know she knows exactly how I am feeling- even if it doesn't make sense. There are some parts of moving to Utah that I am not thrilled about but I am really excited to be moving there and not working all the time so that I will have a chance to visit friends—which means that I can go spend a couple days with her and little Gavin and I can't wait! It's funny how fast life just happens—we swam together in high school and if someone had told me that in 7 years this is where we'd be I would have laughed!

Anyway, work today was actually pretty good. This is the first official day that no customers got mad or complained to me about one thing or another. Usually I have at least 1 parent complain to me about how loud the music is, or how dark the store is, or that they can't find their size, or that because a shirt was placed on a shelf with sale items and even though it isn't marked sale and it is the only one like it on the shelf then surely it must be sale too, or that they can only take 5 items into the fitting rooms, or that the line is too long, or that I should let them return an item that has obviously been worn, doesn't have a tag, and doesn't have a receipt because they say so and the list goes on and on and on. BUT NOT TODAY!! We were actually pretty busy too but somehow the customers weren't mean today. 1 work day down, 5 more to go. AND I don't have to be back until Tuesday afternoon at 5. That almost counts as 3 days off. Jeff suggested that I go to Barnes and Noble on Monday—he must have been feeling daring because that is a dangerous situation—especially because I am out of new books to read.

Speaking of which: Pledged was better the first half than the second half. No, that isn't fair, it was better the first 3 quarters than the last quarter. It was very interesting and disturbing at the same time but I got bored with all the information regarding the different sororities on a national level.