things I've learned

I can't wait to have a kid just so I have an excuse to watch little einsteins with them.

happy halloween!

I am visiting my sister this week and it has been a lot of fun hanging out with her and her girls. My nieces are so fun and cute-- they've put up with a lot the past 2 days as ang and I come up with different ideas for their costumes, make up, etc. They're all hyped up on candy so it's probably worth it for them. Last night we took them to a medical clinic type thing-- one of the med students in their neighborhood told them about it. It was supposed to be the best thing you'd ever seen. It was the best thing we'd ever seen-- but mostly because we like to people watch and it gave us plenty of people to watch. I wish I could have taken more pictures-- but that would have been even more obvious than our almost hysterical laughter the entire time. Katelyn, the 6 year old, asked us when we were walking out to the car, "Why were you guys laughing the whole time?" I feel sort of bad laughing at the costumes because obviously there were good intentions. But I'll post a pic of the girls with "Snow White" and you'll understand.

purse!

I finished the *swing bag last night. It took me longer than it probably should have- but it is done. And it's reversible, even though I probably won't ever actually reverse it. When I woke up this morning I realized that I didn't have anything to hold my driver's license, check card, etc. So, feeling adventurous, I made a little wallet/pocket to hold them with the fabric left over from the swing bag. It definitely isn't perfect, and I probably made it 10 times more complicated than necessary since I tend to make things difficult if left to my own devices. Regardless, I am pretty happy to have a bag/purse big enough for my book, notebook, camera, ID, keys, pens, chapsticks, and the bag of skittles I plan to have out and ready to bribe my niece Samantha with the second I see her at the airport on Tuesday.

*Amy Butler has some really cute stuff. I made the swing bag. It included a pattern for a sash/bow but let's be honest-- I'd never actually use it- so I didn't make it.

been awhile.

So I just realized that I haven't posted since Wednesday which may be the longest number of days I have gone without posting since I started. Just to catch you up:
Thursday: Watched Price is Right with the Grandparents. Went to quilt shop and found a CUTE pattern for my next quilt. I am making it for my niece Brooklyn. She turns 8 in December so it is her birthday/baptism present. Jeff and I won't be able to be at her Baptism because it is during our cruise so hopefully this will make up for it. I started it right when I got home because I was so excited.
Friday: Watched Price is Right with Grandpa. Went upstairs and. . . sewed some more. This quilt was the first time I have ever appliquéd anything. I admit that I think it is pretty fantastic. I finished the quilt top and then started sewing around the appliquéd pieces. My sewing machine, which is also on my list of world's greatest inventions, is awesome. I got to use the zig zag stitch for the first time and one of the quilting stitches around the appliquéd pieces. It isn't perfect, but hopefully that isn't as obvious to everyone who sees it as it is to me. I ordered some ric rac online so I won't be able to finish the top 100% until I get back into town on the Nov. 4th. I will post pics when its finished.
Today: Woke up thinking about finishing the quilt- I got all of the appliquéd pieces finished. All I have left now is some embroidery and the ric rac so I went to the quilt shop and picked up a pattern for a purse/bag that I plan to do tonight. (The world series is on, Jeff and I made dinner for some of the guys he coaches with and they are over watching the game-- so I am upstairs. Sewing.)

Jeff, his mom, and a couple of our nieces got strep throat. Luckily, Jeff gave in and went to Instacare and got a shot before it got bad enough to keep him in bed. He didn't believe me that strep just gets worse and worse until you take an antibiotic- the doc said the same thing without me even being there. I had to nag him about 17 times until he finally agreed to go to the doc. I hate getting strep throat- well, I guess everyone hates getting sick, but I really, really, really, hate it. So I'm just crossing my fingers that I haven't caught it and it just hasn't kicked in yet. Jeff's grandparents left so the house is pretty empty again.

quilt top 2

I FINALLY FINISHED ANGIE'S QUILT TOP!
Yay!
I haven't stopped to count the number of hours/days I spent on it. I might cry because I am so slow. Found out today that my mother-in-law has a quilt frame so I could just give in and tie it-- instead of machine quilting it. I think the machine quilting would be cuter-- but it will probably take me a lot longer. It was a fun one though. I think I am going to try a Buggy Barn quilt next.
Now I can finally get the laundry put away that was washed Monday!

venting

Right now there are 7 adults living in this house. 2 grandparents, 2 parents, 2 marrieds, and 1 unmarried. More importantly, this makes 2 daughter-in-laws, 2 mother-in-laws, 2 father-in-laws, 2 moms, 2 dads, and 3 sons. Simply put, too many.

Luckily, I am able to head upstairs as soon as *Price is Right is over and sew the rest of the day. I convince myself all day that I am handling the pressure cooker pretty well until Jeff gets home and I start picking on him. Probably because he is the only one I can get away with picking on. I'm horrible. He finally said something last night and I realized what I'd been doing. I feel bad.

If I wasn't leaving town next week I'd be out looking for a job- at least then I have being tired to use as an excuse for being ornery!

*I may be the only person who likes Drew Carey better than Bob, but I do.

small things

Last night before we went to bed I realized that I hadn't gotten batteries for my itty bitty book light. Again. I was really bummed. Jeff didn't seem too sympathetic at the time but when I came back into the room after showering he told me to check my light. I turned it on and he had put new batteries in it for me! Probably doesn't sound like too big of a deal, but to me it's a big deal because it makes it possible for me to be able to read before falling asleep. So I'm adding my itty bitty book light to my list of World's Greatest Inventions. Right up there with my hot pink ear plugs.

may be too much information {beware}

Okay, so I have decided to skip the doctor route (to get pregnant) for the next few months for various reasons. Insurance being one, timing being another, and my parents have been urging me to pray to get pregnant for the past year or so. I have always been more of the "please help me deal with what is" instead of "please give me what I want," type prayer. If that makes sense. Honestly, I haven't been doing so hot on just praying to begin with but that is a whole different entry. Anyway, so if by some miracle I am going to ovulate this month it will be sometime in this week. For those of you who ovulate on the same exact cycle day every month- I probably sound ridiculous. But, for me, having it reduced to sometime in a two week period is pretty great.

Okay, I'll warn you again, this may be too much information- so if you're offended and/or embarrassed by what you read next I am not responsible.

So Jeff and I are on the every other day schedule because of the whole 48-72 hour optimum sperm count. Last night, standing in line at golden spoon (with his mom!), I don't remember what I said to Jeff, but his response was,
"hey, just because it's guaranteed every other night doesn't mean you can be mean to me and still expect it."

His mom didn't hear what he'd said. But that didn't stop me from turning various shades of red and purple. Which made him laugh, which made me laugh, which made him laugh even harder, and with each successive guffaw the situation got even more awkward because she didn't know what we were laughing about. I told Jeff he should tell his mom what he just said.

Her response was, "No, no, that's okay, if it made you blush, I don't want to hear it."

Should I be offended?

mood alert!

I got this idea from Chris. I'm hoping to convince Jeff to do a portrait session with her because I think it's about time (since the last time we really got our pictures taken was our wedding almost 3 years ago).

i love this blog

PostSecret: I found it about a month ago and look forward to Sundays when the new postcards are posted. I admit I have spent a considerable amount of time trying to come up with a secret that I could make a postcard for and send. So far, no luck. I have managed to blab every secret, embarrassing moment, and anything in between to Jeff or a good friend willing to sit still for 5 minutes while I talk at them.

Plus, I can't seem to find the address to send the postcard to in the first place.

***a couple hours later***
Okay, I guess by "can't seem to find" I really meant "I haven't looked really hard to find" because I was able to find the address.

PostSecret
13345 Copper Ridge Rd
Germantown, Maryland
USA 20874-3454

And here are the rules.
* Reveal, anonymously, a secret as long as it is true and you have never told anybody.
* Create four inch by six inch postcards out of any malleable material and only use one side of the card. Multiple secrets require multiple postcards.
* Be brief - the fewer words the better.
* Be legible - use big, clear and bold lettering.
* Be creative - let the postcard be your canvas.

Maybe I will subconsciously manage to do something completely horrible and/or embarrassing so that I can make a postcard about it.

another book review

Right now I am reading Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books by Azar Nafisi. I had a difficult time getting into the book at first. Probably because I am pretty egocentric with my reading and couldn't automatically relate to the author's story. Also, I was too attached to the description on the back of the book and was annoyed when the book strayed from that prescribed course. As I have mentioned before I love to read memoirs and this one is slowly floating to the top of my favorites list.

The author begins by describing the women who would come to her house on Thursdays in Iran (their weekends are Thursday and Friday- I didn't know that). I don't know the exact date but the women have to wear the chador, the long robes and scarves that cover them from head to toe in public, but they are able to take them off when they enter her house. They meet to read and discuss books that have since been banned in Islamic Iran- hence the title Reading Lolita in Tehran. As I read it I felt like she quickly swerved from recounting their meetings sometime in the past 10 years back to her graduate school experience in the U.S. and then her return to Iran around 1979. (This was the part that I became annoyed). However, as I have continued reading the book I have recognized the necessity in her telling of the violent transitions that took place during that time.

I don't feel competent to describe any of the events or situations she writes about in her book- instead I will just recommend it to anyone who wants a book to read. The memoir reads more like a novel because of the author's ability to describe feelings and senses instead of just colors or shapes. If that makes any sense. She was/is a Literature professor and so she uses novels as her medium for discussion in real life and her memories. So far the only novel I have read that she discusses is The Great Gatsby, but for the first time I find myself wanting to read the other classics she mentions, such as Jane Eyre or Daisy Miller (which I had never heard of). Maybe it is the English major laying dormant in me that is starting to wake up as I have been reading this book but it has been sticking with me the past couple of weeks as I go throughout the day.

I can't imagine living in a war-torn environment with execution standing as a logical punishment for a variety of offenses. It is not possible to count the number of hours I have retreated deeply into one book or another for escape and relative to most I have had very little to retreat from. If I have spent hours disappearing into the pages of a novels- I can't even imagine how real a novel could become if the real world around me was making as little sense as those women's world did in Iran.

The author describes feeling irrelevant as the laws around her changed. Maybe I am throwing myself a gigantic pity party but I empathized with her in a small way as I adjust on a daily basis to being married- to being the wife. Just by saying that I feel pathetic and small- I have no right to compare myself being married to a loving, kind husband, to a woman living in Iran during the "revolution" and all that it entailed. But nonetheless, feeling like it really does not matter one day from the next what you do, or deep down want to do, or hope to do, feeling irrelevant, is something I understand on a basic level.

Anyway, even though I haven't finished the book yet, I recommend Reading Lolita in Tehran to anyone wanting a good book to read. I will let you know how the last 140 pages go.

happy birthday gwen!

Happy Birthday Gwen!

I am not really good at surprises. So I gave her her birthday present about 3 weeks early because I couldn't see her while I was in Vegas and not give it to her. So, here is a second birthday present to her and anyone else for that matter, although I don't know that a link is really something that one person can give to another person. Oh well. Happy Birthday anyway!

The Shoe Project

belated birthday present

This t-shirt was probably the last thing I ever expected to receive as a gift from Gwen.


Which is what makes it so fantastic.

this week in review

I am back home again after spending most of the week visiting friends. I am so glad that I made the trip- I feel silly for not having done it sooner.

It was great to see my friends- they all seem to be doing great so that made the visit even better. It's funny to see most of them with kids because I didn't see them pregnant. The thing I realized more than anything that when you have kids everything takes about 5 times longer than without kids. Getting ready takes longer, getting in the car takes longer, getting out of the car takes longer, ordering takes longer, eating takes longer, and the list goes on. I loved watching my friends be moms at lunch with Tricia and Tiffany I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. I don't think they thought it was nearly as amusing as I did.

LUCKILY, I was able to visit them while I am in a good place emotionally with the whole trying to conceive thing. Now that I know what our problem probably is, and that it is easily treatable, I am not struggling like I was before. Although, I tend to be a rollercoaster emotionally, this week I was able to visit without feeling sad, down, or jealous.

While I was there I met with an Insurance broker. At least I think that is what he was. He helped me choose a health insurance company- no fertility anything will be covered with any of them but at least if something happens or we get sick it will be okay. I'm really annoyed with my old insurance because they are denying every claim that they have gotten from the Fert Doc. I need to just start calling and fighting them on it. Especially since I stayed down there 5 weeks after Jeff left just so we would have that insurance to help pay for the Fert Doc visits. So annoying.

random music

I was watching Conan O'Brien tonight while playing on my computer tonight. I glanced up at the tv screen and saw this guy in a band rolling around on his piano and slamming his hands on the keys. So I grabbed the remote and watched the band play from the beginning. Maybe I am way behind but I'd never heard of them- MUTEMATH. I'm intrigued.



AND THEN:
A Fine Frenzy was on Carson Daily's show. Once again, never heard of her, but I like it. After she played the song she gave the biggest grin- it made me like her even more.



**if you look this song up on YouTube someone put clips of Pam & Jim from the Office to it. Pretty funny.

it's funny how life happens

I am visiting friends from college this week and it has been a lot of fun so far. Today, Lori, Heather, and I went to lunch and spent about 15 minutes eating and the next 3 hours just talking.

I have a goal not to spend a lot of time focusing on all of my regrets. Heaven knows I have about a billion. I meant it when I said that my goal was not to spend a lot of time focusing on my regrets, but to not have any regrets at all is beyond the scope of my OCD so here goes: One of the biggest regrets I have in my life is not staying in touch with my friends better. I have moved so many times and then when I got married I feel like I dropped off of the face of the planet and just as I started to make good friends, we moved. And then we moved again. I have a tendency to just "disappear." I think that I have gotten a lot better at this such that I don't think I have done it lately. At least not on purpose. Not changing my phone number in almost 3 years is a good start I would say.

When my Grandma passed away, I learned a lot from going to her viewing/funeral. There were so many people at both-- I didn't realize Duchesne County even had that many people in it! It was awesome to see how many people she had touched, served, or maybe just knew enough that they came to pay their respects. It was a big slap in the face to me because I realized that if I continued the relationships in my life the way I had thus far, my funeral would be a lonely place. I know, it's kind of morbid to live your life so that you have a good turn out at your funeral- but if it works, it works.

Long story short, I'm determined to take advantage of this break from working to visit and reconnect with friends again.
So far so good.

Back to lunch today: I will say that sitting around the table, I would never have guessed 6 years ago when we started college that we'd be where we are. If that makes sense. In the same moment, I can't imagine my life any different. I married the man I knew I wanted to be with since I was 16-- even if it took us both a few years to come around to it. AND, I have an awesome relationship with my parents. On this day 7, 6,5, or even 4 years ago, if someone had told me that I would have both of those things- I would not have believed them. At all. I would have crossed-my-fingers-hoped-to-die that it was true, but still not believed it.

So yes, I have my regrets, but right now, I am grateful for all of the decisions that I regret because if hadn't made them, I may not be where I am, and I kinda like it here.

happy sunday!

So Jeff and I made a deal: If I help him with his homework then he will cook and do the dishes all day. Here is a picture of what's left of the fantastic chocolate cake he made. And the empty sink that is empty without me having to wash one bowl, fork, or cup.

Today has been a great day.

the best day ever

Sorry, I wrote "the best day ever" as my title and immediately had Sponge Bob Square Pants bouncing around in my head so I had to share the joy.

Really though, yesterday was one of the best days I have had in a long time. After Jeff finished the yard work he came inside and we were able to hang out all day for the first time in what feels like forever. We figured out the best arrangement to keep us both happy-- he watched football while I quilted in the same room. Luckily, my new sewing machine is really quiet so I am able to sew without it being a huge bother. I don't mind sports on the tv as long as I am not expected to watch them. In the past, we inevitably argued about him watching sports because he expected me to sit and watch them with him. Or watch him watch them. Or something like that. Needless to say, I usually refused and left the room to read a book, or he caved in and changed the channel while I felt all sorts of pressure to find something good to watch instead, or more likely, I just forced myself to take a nap such that we were sharing the same space and air but I didn't have to consciously watch the game. But yesterday, being the best day ever, we didn't argue once about the stupid tv and we actually watched "A Time to Kill," more than sports.
Then, we went out to dinner and rented a couple of movies and a game for Nintendo Wii. (There are some advantages to living with the in-laws). We rented the game Trauma Center: Second Opinion. It is very addicting. Usually, my attention span for video games is about 2.5 seconds but this one is really fun. You are a doctor and have to perform random surgeries on patients. I kept getting really frustrated because I hadn't played Wii before so I wasn't used to being able to move and rotate the controller to do things in the game. If that makes sense. Although, it will probably work to my advantage in other Wii games because I have always been pretty spastic while playing video games. As a kid, I would jerk my hands and the controller all over the place thinking for some reason it would turn my car faster or make mario jump a little higher while my brother, who is 5 years younger, looked on in disgust. Anyway, last night, as it got later and later my patience started to drop dramatically until I finally walked away from the game in disgust. Jeff thought it was very amusing.

On a completely different note, Friday Night Lights has earned the #1 spot over Grey's Anatomy, at least this week.

suburbia

This morning I woke up to the sound of lawn mowers. I went outside and saw the men from almost every house on the street (including Jeff) mowing their lawns. After going back inside for a little while I was taking the trash outside and watched Jeff joking back and forth with the neighbors across the street. They were discussing this weeks ball games, etc. and I felt like I was spying on our life 5-10 years from now- all the men spending their Saturday morning fixing up the lawn just in time to go inside and watch the ball games. But I don't think that is a horrible thing. In the few seconds it took me to walk the trash out to the garbage can I witnessed Jeff having more interaction with the neighbor across the street than either of us ever did with our neighbors in AZ. I think that having a lawn to take care of in the front yard creates an opportunity for neighbors to interact beyond the awkward walking across the street with a plate full of cookies and knocking on the door without really having any idea what to say beyond the initial "we made you some cookies."
So, my note to self for the day: The next house we buy will have some sort of lawn that requires maintenance.

and another one begins

I picked out the fabric for a quilt for my sister. I'm really excited about the fabrics! It's going to be a surprise for her, but she never reads this so I feel safe posting them. The 9 on the left are going to be on the front and the right side is going to be on the back. Yay!


My in-laws left town this morning for the weekend so I am taking over the downstairs of the house! (Notice the folding table set up behind me!)

first quilt top

The pattern is called Yellow Brick Road.

one small step.

Just for the record-- I have been posting pretty regularly now for one month- which is longer than I can stick to most things. :)

and the domesticity continues

I finished my first quilt top yesterday. I started a quilt last year but didn't manage to even get all the strips sewn together- so Gwen saved the day and finished the practically the entire thing for me. So, I am considering this my very first quilt top. It's just a little one- crib size. I will take a picture of it with my new camera (which is amazing by the way) and post it later. I am going to take a class at the quilt shop in November to learn how to machine quilt the top, batting, and bottom together. The lady teaching it has some quilts on display at the shop and they are fantastic. So that is my reason for not finishing the entire thing right now. For the record, I did already buy the batting, backing, and material for the binding-- which is definitely farther than I got last time with the other quilt!

I love not having a job. It's awesome. I realized last night that I have only been "not working" for 10 days and it sort of feels like 10 weeks so I'm crossing my fingers that I can still love not working until January. In the meantime, I am learning how to actually be helpful in Jeff's parent's kitchen. Normally, I feel like I am just getting in the way, which I'll admit comes in handy after big Sunday dinners so that I have an excuse to sneak off and take a nap, but I am slowly learning how his mom works in the kitchen. I learned how to de-seed a watermelon the other day. My family just always ate the seeds- Jeff's family will spend 3 minutes digging one seed out of the bowl if there is a possibility it snuck in.

I wish that I would have spent more time at his parent's house before we got married. Or at least I wished I would have paid more attention to some things while I was at his parents house before we got married. For example, when Jeff and I were first married I worked really hard to keep the house clean. Growing up, we were never supposed to leave a dirty dish in the sink. If the dishwasher was clean, we were supposed to empty it, and then put our dirty dish in the dishwasher. If the dishes in the dishwasher were dirty, then obviously, one should add his or her dirty dish and start it if it was full-- but only if it was completely full. So I naively went into our marriage thinking that was normal and therefore right. Hence, I spent the first 6 months getting frustrated because I was constantly loading and unloading the dishwasher. I would come home to one dirty butter knife smeared with peanut butter in an otherwise empty and clean sink about every other day. That dirty butter knife in the sink was enough to make me want to scream and throw things and then cry because I was sure it meant that Jeff didn't love me because if he did he wouldn't just leave it in the sink, he would take two seconds to put it in the dishwasher. Finally, we talked, about 5 times, and Jeff started putting his dishes in the sink more often and I didn't take it as a personal affront when he didn't.
Two and a half years later- we live with his parents and I've finally learned that they deal with dirty dishes in a different way than my family. His family doesn't stress out about dirty dishes in the sink, when the sink gets relatively full, one of them (usually his mom) will empty the dishwasher, put the sink full of dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and then start it, even if it only half full. It all makes sense now. He probably thought I was the biggest spaz on the planet every time I freaked out about his dish in the sink. Now if I could just get over my neurosis I won't be spending an hour of everyday loading and unloading their dishwasher.

**As I was typing this post I watched Jeff's younger brother, Jace, and the girl he is dating clean up the kitchen after making breakfast. (She loaded the dishwasher). After they were done, Jace filled the sink with soapy water, and started to wipe off the kitchen table. She asked him why he was filling the sink up with soapy water. He couldn't answer her question-he sort of muttered something about it being there so that when someone later has a dirty dish they can rinse it in the soapy water. So of course I piped in and explained to her that it is just what their family does- They fill the sink up with soapy water and wipe down every surface in the kitchen that may or may not have had food, or a dish holding food, on it. When my mother-in-law came in the kitchen Jace asked why they fill the sink up with soapy water and she gave him the same answer I had- it was to wipe down the counters. It's funny that we're raised and pick up certain habits and ways of doing things and to each of us our particular way is just the way it's done- even if we don't know why we do it that way.

Review: The Traveler

I finished the novel The Traveler by John Twelve Hawks last night. I had a difficult time getting into the book at the beginning. Well, to be honest, I had a difficult time getting into the book in the middle too. The characters are all loners who keep everyone at a distance, including each other, even when they are working together. So for me, it is hard to be drawn in and sympathetic to characters who have no sympathy for anyone. The book takes place in present day or maybe a little bit in the future. The author brings up ways that "big brother" or in this case "The Vast Machine" tracks "citizens" with them either oblivious or apathetic to the constant surveillance. For example, GPS systems like OnStar are really used to keep track of the owners, people are constantly watched with cameras on the streets (I guess this is partly true in London, Chicago, and if you're speeding in Arizona!), and the author even asserts that the floors in the casinos in Vegas slope down towards the casino so that it draws people from the hotel to the casino. I don't know how much is true and how much is exaggerated but my guess is that if it was all true the real "Vast Machine" wouldn't let a novel reveal all its secrets!
I'm having a difficult time describing the basic plot- I still don't understand it completely. Basically, there are a rare few who can leave earth, at least their "light" can, and the people who are trying to gain control of the "citizens" don't like that the "travelers" can escape to other realms. There are "Harlequins"* who's job is to protect the "travelers" and then finally there are the "Brethren" who are the top dogs trying to gain control of the world through information monitoring, cameras, tracking, etc.

Anyway, I must not have hated it or else I wouldn't be trying to make it make sense. It is the first in a series, but I'm not going to run out and buy the next book.

*I mentioned the Harlequins when I started the book because I kept getting images of large spotted great danes. Luckily, I was able to get past that about halfway into the book.

Let the quilting begin.

I found a quilt shop in St. George. Actually, Jeff's mom found a quilt shop in St. George and took me to it. They sell Pfaff sewing machines which I have read are better than the bernina AND they are less expensive too. So I bought one. Jeff and I made a deal that if I moved to Utah I could quilt and scrapbook to my heart's content. Well, that also included me getting a sewing machine- so after promising not to ask for a new one for 10 years I ordered one. It won't be in until Wednesday or Thursday but they let me take one of the shop's home for the weekend to play with. Yesterday I started a quilt for my sister-in-law Jen's baby that is due the end of December. Hopefully it turns out okay-- if I manage to finish it all by myself it may be the first project I have ever started and completely finished without Gwen having to swoop in and save the day. Or the project.

WORLD'S GREATEST INVENTION: Ear plugs.
Besides one or two months when Jeff got emaciated skinny, he has snored every night of our entire marriage. I never could figure out why I was tired all the time until he was living in Utah and I was still in Arizona and finally able to sleep through the night. When he would come to visit on the weekends I would have an even harder time sleeping because I wasn't able to tune out the snoring and didn't sleep well at all. Snoring sucks for both people because I know he wasn't keeping me awake on purpose, but I woule still be annoyed, tired, and irritated when the night was over and I had spent half of it trying to think happy thoughts over the continuous NOISE on the other side of the bed. Finally, after spending the last night in our house on the couch I gave in and bought some ear plugs. They are hot pink. They are amazing. When I wake up in the morning I want to give Jeff a kiss, not a swift kick to the shin. It's wonderful. I even managed to stay awake for multiple sessions of General Conference. Normally, General Conference means a guaranteed nap. Or two.

Finally, this being my first post since the premiere of Friday Night Lights, all I have to say is WHAT THE?! I can't see how this can turn into anything other than "I know what you did last summer" even though I never actually saw the movie, I vaguely remember reading the book when I was younger.

I just ordered a new digital camera!

The amazon.com gift certificates I ordered from points on the ThankYou Network were here when I got here yesterday. Jeff didn't realize that they were in the envelope his mom had been trying to get him to open for the past 3 days. So they were on my purse when I woke up this morning and I am very excited. I just ordered my camera with them! I splurged on the shipping and it should get here Tuesday. It's been driving me crazy that my old camera isn't working with Windows Vista and this new one should. YES! Like I said, I'm very excited.

uuhh. . . nevermind?

So I woke up with a fat headache this morning. I think it's from crying last night. My dad thinks I am pregnant. Just one word, repeat after me: In-fert-ile.

My parents have decided to go visit my Grandpa before they move so they won't even be here this weekend for us to come visit them. Good thing I chose the middle of the night last night to argue with Jeff about it just in time to wake up this morning and find out it was for nothing. So typical.

Well enough about that stuff, here is the important news:

Okay, for those of you who have not watched this show- you still have time. I just looked at the website and they have all of last season's episodes on-line. Seriously, one of the best shows that I have gotten sucked into. Honestly, I may buy every season when it comes out on DVD to learn how to be a good parent and coach's wife. So good. I think that Grey's Anatomy is going downhill and Friday Night Lights is taking over as my #1 favorite show. (I hope that I don't have to eat my words in 36 hours if the season premiere is weak).

I am making the last part of my move today. Then it will be official. I am kind of stressing out because I don't know where I will be able to scrapbook at Jeff's parent's house. I need to figure out something- for once I will have all of the time in the world and none of the space. They have a folding table, I may just get to beg them to let me drag it upstairs or something. Wish me luck.

change.

I've always thought that I adapt to change fairly well. I think that maybe I am not as good as I thought- I just have never given myself to actually think about the changes as they were occurring-- I just dealt with the aftershock. Sometimes with medication.

My parents moving to Kentucky just hit me tonight. My mom probably thinks that I am a callous wench because she has been emotional off and on since I got here on Monday night. I have been pretty stoic and level-headed about the whole thing. Until of course I was talking to Jeff on the phone tonight about spending conference weekend here (at my parents) instead of at his parent's because some friends were coming to his parent's for part of the weekend. I need to learn to just tell him how I feel about something rather than try to convince him why he should change his (our) plans. I should have learned by now that we are both equally stubborn but that he has such a kind heart that if he knows that I am hurting or sad he will do whatever he is capable of to eradicate my sadness. Or at least whatever it takes to stop the tears.

It has just hit me that I won't be able to just "go home" for the weekend anymore. Really, my home is wherever Jeff is, but I don't know if I will ever grow up from knowing that if I am sick of taking care of myself and want to be somewhere that I can hibernate or whatever- I can just go to my parents house.

My dad told me that I am bossy. He's probably right. But there is part of me that would love to just be somewhere for a little while where somebody else was making the decisions and worrying about things and I could be the one to be 'bossed' for once. Although who am I kidding- that would last for about 15 seconds and I would be outta there.

Maybe it's a good thing that I haven't gotten pregnant yet- cause here I am whining about having to take care of myself, let alone a baby.

I don't know- I'm tired. And I miss Jeff. But I am trying to somehow balance spending time with my parents and seeing him. I like to be the one who is leaving/moving. I don't like to be the one who is getting left. Living in AZ this whole thing wasn't as harsh because I wasn't able to be around much anyway. But now, knowing that my parents would have been a quick car ride away such that I could have driven down and back while Jeff was in school to go to a movie with my mom if I felt like it, but in less than 2 weeks it will be a long flight to see them, after making that drive. The timing just sucks.

I think I am going to go to bed, read a book, and feel sorry for myself. Speaking of which, my mom gave me a pair of ear plugs to try out- so that I don't end up on the couch every night before I get used to Jeff's snoring again.

getting ready for halloween

I'm visiting my sister during Halloween and I'm very excited because she has kids so I have an excuse to dress up. While looking on-line at halloween costumes I came across some good, some not so good, and some that caused disturbing flashbacks of All Hallow's Eves passed. Here are a few simple pointers on costume wearing and my thoughts while browsing:

#1- If a costume has to be labeled, find something different.




















#2 Don't embarrass your baby straight out of the womb.




















#3 If you are going to dress your baby up as food- try something more organic or plant based with less preservatives. Something is just not right about an over-sized hot dog.


















#4 Whatever happened to just wearing a mask? I'm not a fan of the over-sized sweatband.

#5 Dr. Seuss is always a sure bet. (see #4 about the mask). Interestingly, the website had SOLD OUT of "thing 2" but not "thing 1."

#6 Having experience my fair share of self-inflicted embarrassing costumes, I think that it is fair to say that parents have the responsibility to just say 'no' to some costumes. It will probably be tough but no matter how many tears are shed- hold strong. (and no, this isn't me).

#7 Don't let the snazzy background fool you: To be a ghost all you need is a white sheet and a pair of scissors.


And finally, I almost bought this costume for my hypothetical child of the future. Although this thought deviates from the Halloween theme, it still applies:

When I was somewhere between the ages of 5-7, I was assigned to be one of the lambs in the Christmas pageant at church. I don't know if my mom forgot all about it, didn't care a whole lot, or just simply did the best she could, but regardless, I ended up on-stage in all my lamb-glory in a brown paper bag with cotton balls glued to it, turned upside down with a hole cut for my head, and an arm hole on either side. I spent the duration of the pageant trying to kneel/sit down but every time I did the bag would hit the stage and the lower half of my face would disappear into the bag.


In my mom's defense when I was in kindergarten I had about the coolest mummy costume a girl could hope for.

Any good costume ideas?

really?

So I just read this story:
Mother of girl in sex video says she was at work.

A few memorable details/quotes:

"Stiles, 37, is being described as a dangerous, knife-wielding survivalist who once vowed never to be taken alive and formerly worked as an animal trainer with Las Vegas illusionists Siegfried & Roy."

"The woman [mom] wants Stiles prosecuted, Donohue [her lawyer] said, adding: 'I wish the guy would dig a hole in the desert and put a gun to his mouth.'"

"Las Vegas police say Stiles had a string of arrests dating to 1999 on several charges, including assault, battery, resisting a police officer, auto theft, leaving the scene of an accident and contempt of court."

So my first thought was, Why did the mom have a knife fighting junkie babysitting her kid?!

But then I considered the possibility that she had someone else babysitting her daughter and this guy was a friend of the babysitter. So I guess the question is:

Why would you have someone who hangs out with a knife fighting junkie babysit your kid?!

gone.

I left Arizona this morning- it still seems surreal. It's very strange to move but still have a lot of our stuff in the house. The drive went well. I listened to a book on tape- a biography about Marie Antoinette. I can't remember who the author is but it is good so far. I think I would probably be frustrated if I was reading it because of all of the French names and pronunciations. I will post later when I have the case with me and have gotten a little farther through it.

I drove over the Hoover Dam- the bridge they are building still amazes me. The first time I saw it was in the middle of the night-- it seemed gigantic. It really is huge, but not as monstrous in the daylight as at night.

The girl who played 'Madison' on Everwood is now on Chuck. See, I told you Everwood was a good show. How could it not be a good show when all the actors who were in it are popping up on primetime sitcoms?

Final Fertility Doc Appointment

Our consult was this morning. Dr. Z. went over all of our test results. Luckily, Jeff is 100% okay and not the problem at all. We were both really relieved to hear/see that because from what I've heard it's harder to fix the problem for guys. As for me, he says that I show multiple signs of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) but he was hesitant to diagnose me 100% because he didn't want to get tunnel vision with the treatment. For the most part my hormone levels were relatively normal- just my FSH and LH levels were off. They are supposed to be 2:1 and mine were more like 1:1. It's also good that he didn't officially diagnose me because that could make getting individual insurance more difficult.
He wrote out a whole sheet of courses of action and his determinations, etc. My next doc may hate it or love it but I plan on taking that sheet in with me when I find a doc in Utah. I am bummed that we can't use Dr. Z anymore. On our way in, a couple was leaving who just got confirmation that she was pregnant. All the ladies in the office gave them big hugs and were totally sweet to them about it. That's the second time that I have been in there that a couple who is pregnant is leaving-- it seems like a small thing but it gives me hope.
It's a big relief to know, or at least have more of an idea, what the problem is- now it's just a matter of fixing it. I'm supposed to get another ultrasound to check on the cyst this month if possible-- if it's bigger then it might need to be removed. I'm crossing my fingers that it is smaller.

all packed.

I am finally finished packing up my car. In the morning we'll just need to put in our suitcases-- I'm crossing my fingers that I left enough room.

Jeff originally packed the trunk- he put in the giant suitcase and I asked him if he put anything in it. His reply was "the smaller suitcases are in it." So I said "okay," and didn't even look at how he had packed the trunk. Tonight we put all of my clothes into trashbags and then vacuum packed them to make them smaller. After the car was practically full (jeff was a sweetheart to pack it up to that point) I went out to put in some of the last scrapbooking stuff. I figured I was going to have all sorts of room. Not the case. So by this time Jeff had already showered and was definitely in sleepy time mode, not rearrange-the-car-to-fit-all-of-kristina's-shoes-clothes-and-scrapbooking-crap mode. So I told him to go to bed and conceeded that no matter how much we rearranged, we probably wouldn't be able to fit everything plus him, me, and our suitcases so I would just have to come back after after I dropped him off at the airport in the morning.

I tried to just shower and go to bed.

But obviously my OCD just isn't taking today off so I didn't even manage to touch the bed before I was outside tearing everything out of the car. I had started to mentally tally the number of suitcases we owned and realized that the number was doubled if there really was a smaller suitcase inside the huge one. Or multiple suitcases as he made it sound.

So, feeling very Nancy Drew-like in solving the mystery of the impossible packing job I pulled the suitcase out of the trunk, opened it up, and found that it was full of blankets, old sweatshirts, and twin sheets.

We don't even own a twin bed.

So, now, an hour later, I won't be needing to drive back home before heading out of town in the morning. Which is pretty fantastic because that was going to add at least an hour and a half to my drive- and I am not positive that if I came to the house by myself in the morning I would be able to drive away again. But I will admit that I did end up leaving behind a few pairs of shoes, so I wasn't able to fit everything.