remind me to knock on wood next time.

So, a few days ago I posted about actually having a good day at work. No annoying customers, etc. bad idea. I think today was the day that all those customers decided to shop and the kids "working" today "worked" less than usual. So here goes:

Whenever a customer has a return, the kid ringing them up has to have a manager swipe our card or enter our id # and password before they are able to do the return/exchange. Today this teenage girl and her mom or grandma or aunt or something along those lines brought back a zip up sweatshirt. The tags were no longer on it, it had been washed, and they were returning it because the fleece left lint on "her friends" shirt when she took it off. What the?! The awesome part was that I only had 1 kid for registers and there somehow was a line of 5 people when the rest of the store was practically empty. So they were all staring, doing that shifting of the weight while heavily sighing and looking around for a clock thing. Here's the kicker: I soon realize that the Grandma/mom/aunt does not speak a word of English. She doesn't understand it either. So then I get to repeat myself all over again to the teenage girl so that she can translate it. After she does, the woman starts getting all crazy upset pointing to the sweater and talking all fast and for about 2 seconds I was grateful that she was unable to direct the wrath directly at me, until I saw the look on the poor girl's face because it was being directed at her even though she was just translating. I tried to show them the back of the receipt that has the return policy printed on it but still- they wouldn't leave. The same line of discussion was replayed 10 times. And for once I am not exaggerating for comedic effect. I keep telling her that I can't take it back. She then tells the older woman, who then gestures and talks fast and narrows her brow, the girl then asks me if they can exchange it. I tried handing it back to them. They won't take it. It's really awkward when a customer hands me something to return, I realize I can't take it back, and then I try to hand it back to them and they won't take it. It's like playing a game of 1-2-3 "not it!" with adults and in this case, washed merchandise.

Note to self: If I ever really really want to return something I should just put it on the counter at the cashwrap, tell the associate working that I want to return it, and then refuse to pick it back up again.

Just in case you're wondering, there is still the line of customers waiting.

So I finally log in with my ID on a different computer and have my register kid use it (she is so relieved to be dismissed from the awkwardness that she uses the tagline: "Do you need any more Jake (cologne) or Malaia (perfume) today?"with even more enthusiasm than usual), while I continue to deal with the sweatshirt. I honestly could not tell what was wrong with the sweatshirt, and they had the reciept and tag, it just wasn't attached. So I am a sucker and finally agreed to let them exchange it.

Once again, I am an idiot in the wide wide world of retail management. They walk away from the cashwrap, triumphant, and I barely have time to roll my eyes, heave a big sigh, and answer the ringing phone before I turn around and THEY'RE BACK, BEHIND THE CASHWRAP. And talking at me. And having zero regard for personal space. I can't hear what she is saying or what the person on the phone is saying because it is all being outdone by the last 30 seconds of "California" by Red Hot Chili Peppers blasting over the sound system. Finally, I figure out that they're wanting a personal tour of the store so that I can be their personal shopper on their quest to find a fleece sweatshirt that doesn't have lint and/or ball up. Or at least I think that is what they thought was wrong with the one I am not supposed to be returning for them, but am. So I walk over to the girl's side of the store, flail my arms wildly in every direction because there just happen to be about 5 different sweatshirts in the room in every direction and surely they'll be able to find one that pleases them enough to then get the hell out of the store.

For the best results in understanding my day at work: reread experience. Rinse. Repeat.