Thoughts

I have been thinking a lot about what I am going to do when I move back to Utah with Jeff. There is a part of me that doesn't want to work at all and then there is another side that can't imagine not working full-time. It would be pretty cool to have time to scrapbook again and learn how to quilt. Not to mention it would be nice to have time to do things so that I actually have pictures to scrapbook! I have been working at Hollister since a week after graduating from college. I really like my job at the store that I am at right now but I don't feel like I am contributing the world in any effective way. I have fun working with the teenagers- that is really my favorite part which has got me thinking about getting my teaching license and teaching at a high school. It would be nice to have the same work schedule as Jeff if it turns out that I am incapable of not working at all or just part-time. The first 2 months we were married I didn't have a job and was just going to school full-time. I think he enjoyed it because I actually did the laundry, cleaned, and cooked dinner every night. However, I started to get restless and have been working ever since. Another option would be to go back to school and get another degree. I would love to get an economics degree or learn who to do CAD drawings so that I can draw house plans. Both will require Math which means I get to start at BASIC math because I somehow managed to graduate high school and college without really understanding algebra.

On another note- we've decided to go on the cruise with Angie and Derek in January. I am excited to have a chance to hang out with my sister as married couples without her having to be a mom the whole time. I don't even know where it is going or the exact dates but I don't care. I finally decided that Jeff and I have to just make plans to go on trips and do things and then worry about making the financial part work out later. We keep coming up with cool ideas for trips and then talk ourselves out of them because of the money. But I am seeing a trend, which is that we don't end up doing anything, ever, because we tell ourselves that the money should be spent elsewhere. In the meantime, I am filling suffocated and trapped because I don't have the freedom to take off for a weekend and go somewhere if I want. When I told Angie, this was her response, "Well that's because before you were married you didn't have anybody that loved you." Gee, thanks Ang. I knew what she meant but it was still funny to give her a hard time as she immediately started back-tracking! I keep letting other things get in the way and fall into being too busy to really live. For example, before we moved from Cedar City to Arizona we were supposed to go visit my grand-parents in Roosevelt. Not far, about a 6 hour drive. But, we didn't. Then we moved to Arizona and after being here 3 months my Grandma passed away. THEN we made the trip up, for her funeral. So stupid. I spent the first days after she died feeling guilty about not having made more effort to see her. The same thing goes for all my friends from before Jeff and I got married. Very few of them have even met Jeff, let alone gotten to know him. The good news is that he agreed not to be involved in any sport teams summer 2008 so that we can travel more and visit people. Yay! That is one thing that I am really excited about with Jeff becoming a teacher/coach. We will have time during winter break and summer to do fun things even if that means that I will spend fall and spring sitting in the stands watching whatever team he is coaching!