uuhh. . . nevermind?

So I woke up with a fat headache this morning. I think it's from crying last night. My dad thinks I am pregnant. Just one word, repeat after me: In-fert-ile.

My parents have decided to go visit my Grandpa before they move so they won't even be here this weekend for us to come visit them. Good thing I chose the middle of the night last night to argue with Jeff about it just in time to wake up this morning and find out it was for nothing. So typical.

Well enough about that stuff, here is the important news:

Okay, for those of you who have not watched this show- you still have time. I just looked at the website and they have all of last season's episodes on-line. Seriously, one of the best shows that I have gotten sucked into. Honestly, I may buy every season when it comes out on DVD to learn how to be a good parent and coach's wife. So good. I think that Grey's Anatomy is going downhill and Friday Night Lights is taking over as my #1 favorite show. (I hope that I don't have to eat my words in 36 hours if the season premiere is weak).

I am making the last part of my move today. Then it will be official. I am kind of stressing out because I don't know where I will be able to scrapbook at Jeff's parent's house. I need to figure out something- for once I will have all of the time in the world and none of the space. They have a folding table, I may just get to beg them to let me drag it upstairs or something. Wish me luck.

change.

I've always thought that I adapt to change fairly well. I think that maybe I am not as good as I thought- I just have never given myself to actually think about the changes as they were occurring-- I just dealt with the aftershock. Sometimes with medication.

My parents moving to Kentucky just hit me tonight. My mom probably thinks that I am a callous wench because she has been emotional off and on since I got here on Monday night. I have been pretty stoic and level-headed about the whole thing. Until of course I was talking to Jeff on the phone tonight about spending conference weekend here (at my parents) instead of at his parent's because some friends were coming to his parent's for part of the weekend. I need to learn to just tell him how I feel about something rather than try to convince him why he should change his (our) plans. I should have learned by now that we are both equally stubborn but that he has such a kind heart that if he knows that I am hurting or sad he will do whatever he is capable of to eradicate my sadness. Or at least whatever it takes to stop the tears.

It has just hit me that I won't be able to just "go home" for the weekend anymore. Really, my home is wherever Jeff is, but I don't know if I will ever grow up from knowing that if I am sick of taking care of myself and want to be somewhere that I can hibernate or whatever- I can just go to my parents house.

My dad told me that I am bossy. He's probably right. But there is part of me that would love to just be somewhere for a little while where somebody else was making the decisions and worrying about things and I could be the one to be 'bossed' for once. Although who am I kidding- that would last for about 15 seconds and I would be outta there.

Maybe it's a good thing that I haven't gotten pregnant yet- cause here I am whining about having to take care of myself, let alone a baby.

I don't know- I'm tired. And I miss Jeff. But I am trying to somehow balance spending time with my parents and seeing him. I like to be the one who is leaving/moving. I don't like to be the one who is getting left. Living in AZ this whole thing wasn't as harsh because I wasn't able to be around much anyway. But now, knowing that my parents would have been a quick car ride away such that I could have driven down and back while Jeff was in school to go to a movie with my mom if I felt like it, but in less than 2 weeks it will be a long flight to see them, after making that drive. The timing just sucks.

I think I am going to go to bed, read a book, and feel sorry for myself. Speaking of which, my mom gave me a pair of ear plugs to try out- so that I don't end up on the couch every night before I get used to Jeff's snoring again.

getting ready for halloween

I'm visiting my sister during Halloween and I'm very excited because she has kids so I have an excuse to dress up. While looking on-line at halloween costumes I came across some good, some not so good, and some that caused disturbing flashbacks of All Hallow's Eves passed. Here are a few simple pointers on costume wearing and my thoughts while browsing:

#1- If a costume has to be labeled, find something different.




















#2 Don't embarrass your baby straight out of the womb.




















#3 If you are going to dress your baby up as food- try something more organic or plant based with less preservatives. Something is just not right about an over-sized hot dog.


















#4 Whatever happened to just wearing a mask? I'm not a fan of the over-sized sweatband.

#5 Dr. Seuss is always a sure bet. (see #4 about the mask). Interestingly, the website had SOLD OUT of "thing 2" but not "thing 1."

#6 Having experience my fair share of self-inflicted embarrassing costumes, I think that it is fair to say that parents have the responsibility to just say 'no' to some costumes. It will probably be tough but no matter how many tears are shed- hold strong. (and no, this isn't me).

#7 Don't let the snazzy background fool you: To be a ghost all you need is a white sheet and a pair of scissors.


And finally, I almost bought this costume for my hypothetical child of the future. Although this thought deviates from the Halloween theme, it still applies:

When I was somewhere between the ages of 5-7, I was assigned to be one of the lambs in the Christmas pageant at church. I don't know if my mom forgot all about it, didn't care a whole lot, or just simply did the best she could, but regardless, I ended up on-stage in all my lamb-glory in a brown paper bag with cotton balls glued to it, turned upside down with a hole cut for my head, and an arm hole on either side. I spent the duration of the pageant trying to kneel/sit down but every time I did the bag would hit the stage and the lower half of my face would disappear into the bag.


In my mom's defense when I was in kindergarten I had about the coolest mummy costume a girl could hope for.

Any good costume ideas?

really?

So I just read this story:
Mother of girl in sex video says she was at work.

A few memorable details/quotes:

"Stiles, 37, is being described as a dangerous, knife-wielding survivalist who once vowed never to be taken alive and formerly worked as an animal trainer with Las Vegas illusionists Siegfried & Roy."

"The woman [mom] wants Stiles prosecuted, Donohue [her lawyer] said, adding: 'I wish the guy would dig a hole in the desert and put a gun to his mouth.'"

"Las Vegas police say Stiles had a string of arrests dating to 1999 on several charges, including assault, battery, resisting a police officer, auto theft, leaving the scene of an accident and contempt of court."

So my first thought was, Why did the mom have a knife fighting junkie babysitting her kid?!

But then I considered the possibility that she had someone else babysitting her daughter and this guy was a friend of the babysitter. So I guess the question is:

Why would you have someone who hangs out with a knife fighting junkie babysit your kid?!

gone.

I left Arizona this morning- it still seems surreal. It's very strange to move but still have a lot of our stuff in the house. The drive went well. I listened to a book on tape- a biography about Marie Antoinette. I can't remember who the author is but it is good so far. I think I would probably be frustrated if I was reading it because of all of the French names and pronunciations. I will post later when I have the case with me and have gotten a little farther through it.

I drove over the Hoover Dam- the bridge they are building still amazes me. The first time I saw it was in the middle of the night-- it seemed gigantic. It really is huge, but not as monstrous in the daylight as at night.

The girl who played 'Madison' on Everwood is now on Chuck. See, I told you Everwood was a good show. How could it not be a good show when all the actors who were in it are popping up on primetime sitcoms?

Final Fertility Doc Appointment

Our consult was this morning. Dr. Z. went over all of our test results. Luckily, Jeff is 100% okay and not the problem at all. We were both really relieved to hear/see that because from what I've heard it's harder to fix the problem for guys. As for me, he says that I show multiple signs of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) but he was hesitant to diagnose me 100% because he didn't want to get tunnel vision with the treatment. For the most part my hormone levels were relatively normal- just my FSH and LH levels were off. They are supposed to be 2:1 and mine were more like 1:1. It's also good that he didn't officially diagnose me because that could make getting individual insurance more difficult.
He wrote out a whole sheet of courses of action and his determinations, etc. My next doc may hate it or love it but I plan on taking that sheet in with me when I find a doc in Utah. I am bummed that we can't use Dr. Z anymore. On our way in, a couple was leaving who just got confirmation that she was pregnant. All the ladies in the office gave them big hugs and were totally sweet to them about it. That's the second time that I have been in there that a couple who is pregnant is leaving-- it seems like a small thing but it gives me hope.
It's a big relief to know, or at least have more of an idea, what the problem is- now it's just a matter of fixing it. I'm supposed to get another ultrasound to check on the cyst this month if possible-- if it's bigger then it might need to be removed. I'm crossing my fingers that it is smaller.

all packed.

I am finally finished packing up my car. In the morning we'll just need to put in our suitcases-- I'm crossing my fingers that I left enough room.

Jeff originally packed the trunk- he put in the giant suitcase and I asked him if he put anything in it. His reply was "the smaller suitcases are in it." So I said "okay," and didn't even look at how he had packed the trunk. Tonight we put all of my clothes into trashbags and then vacuum packed them to make them smaller. After the car was practically full (jeff was a sweetheart to pack it up to that point) I went out to put in some of the last scrapbooking stuff. I figured I was going to have all sorts of room. Not the case. So by this time Jeff had already showered and was definitely in sleepy time mode, not rearrange-the-car-to-fit-all-of-kristina's-shoes-clothes-and-scrapbooking-crap mode. So I told him to go to bed and conceeded that no matter how much we rearranged, we probably wouldn't be able to fit everything plus him, me, and our suitcases so I would just have to come back after after I dropped him off at the airport in the morning.

I tried to just shower and go to bed.

But obviously my OCD just isn't taking today off so I didn't even manage to touch the bed before I was outside tearing everything out of the car. I had started to mentally tally the number of suitcases we owned and realized that the number was doubled if there really was a smaller suitcase inside the huge one. Or multiple suitcases as he made it sound.

So, feeling very Nancy Drew-like in solving the mystery of the impossible packing job I pulled the suitcase out of the trunk, opened it up, and found that it was full of blankets, old sweatshirts, and twin sheets.

We don't even own a twin bed.

So, now, an hour later, I won't be needing to drive back home before heading out of town in the morning. Which is pretty fantastic because that was going to add at least an hour and a half to my drive- and I am not positive that if I came to the house by myself in the morning I would be able to drive away again. But I will admit that I did end up leaving behind a few pairs of shoes, so I wasn't able to fit everything.