I should have been a hippie

Jeff and I have already gotten into 2 discussions since finding out that I am pregnant. The first is whether to go with a certified nurse midwife or ob/gyn and the second is whether to have a doula. Well, technically, the outcome of the first led to the second. If it was completely up to me and we were living in our own house I would choose using a midwife at home. Jeff says no way. Since that isn't an option, I've agreed to go to a hospital (there aren't any birthing centers in our city). I still would consider a certified nurse midwife but Jeff feels sketchy about that too. I still want to check out the one covered by our insurance, but I am guessing I will end up with an ob/gyn. Since I will probably end up with a doc who isn't around until the end I really want to use a doula. There are many reasons, one of which is that I am high maintenance. I don't want an epidural or any medication. I don't want anything speeding things up or slowing things down. And unless the baby is 12 lbs and it is physically impossible for anything but a c-section I don't want one of those either, obviously. In a perfect world I'd love to have a waterbirth with a midwife. But if it turns out that I am on my back with a doula and a doc I will be okay with that too. Jeff thinks I am stressing about things way to early. But that is pretty much how I work- I stress in reverse. The first thing I woke up thinking about and losing sleep over was whether my mom would be willing to stay and help me figure out how to breastfeed, etc. Now it is the whole birthing thing. As soon as I find a good doc then I will start worrying about the weight gain and inevitable stretch marks. Then I will worry having a preemie. And honestly, after that I don't know what is left. Hopefully not much. In this moment I don't really feel pregnant. And I didn't yesterday either. I have gotten used to being hungry and having to pee more often. More than once I have considered taking another pregnancy test, just in case, but I am so scared that it will say negative that I haven't actually done it.
So, point being, I should have been a hippie because then all my highfalutin' ideas about natural childbirth would be normal to those around me. And I would be too stoned to worry so much about all the other things.